Celebrate Recovery Lesson 16: Amends +Free Study Guide

what does living amends mean

For example, if you once stole from a coworker, you could apologize and offer repayment. This step seeks inner peace and rebirth through the act of making things right, but only when it won’t harm others in the process. Step 9, often seen as one of the most challenging, requires courage, humility, and guidance. More than an apology, it’s about making genuine amends—taking action to correct past mistakes without causing harm.

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 16: Amends +Free Study Guide

  • It is to compensate for the wrong you have caused in someone else’s life.
  • Make a list of everyone you’ve made promises to that you didn’t fulfill, the people you’ve lied to, stolen from, or hurt in any way because of who you used to be, and apologize sincerely.
  • At Harmony Haus, we offer the guidance and support members need to navigate this stage in their recovery.
  • Amends often include apologies, but they go beyond words.
  • In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), making amends is considered a crucial component of long-term recovery.

We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends. As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people. We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments. No matter how much we feel Sober living house the need to make things right, forcing another to meet with us or hear from us is not part of the Steps. When those we’ve hurt are not able or willing to accept our amends, we can still move in a positive general direction by taking intentional steps to be of service to others or making living amends. It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse.

what does living amends mean

How Making Amends Benefits Your Recovery

For example, let’s say a mother didn’t make an effort to escort her children to the school bus stop. living amends meaning One of her children is killed crossing the street on their own even after telling their mother that they were afraid to cross the busy street alone. A living amend might include a posthumous promise to the deceased child to, from now on, make it a point to walk their surviving siblings to the bus stop each day. However, these promises are usually the result of deep feelings of shame, guilt, and regret and may not be genuine for some.

What Does Living Amends Mean?

Perhaps the person is no longer living, or you no longer have contact with them and reestablishing contact would cause more harm. It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility and requires a deep, intense look at yourself. Thankfully, there are tips you can take to help make your living amends permanent and lasting. People get tired of broken promises, of forgiving over and over and giving second and third, fourth, or fifth chances only to get hurt again. When you’re looking to change both your behavior and your broken relationships, stop making excuses to fulfill your promises. Soon, you’ll run out of reasons to give your loved ones why you’ve failed them once again.

To understand what living amends are is to understand the concept behind amends in a 12 step program.

what does living amends mean

In some situations, attempting to make amends may cause more harm than good. And in some cases, you may not be able to make direct amends at all. However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them.

what does living amends mean

Don’t settle for an apology.

You can also turn to AA’s Big Book andTwelve Steps and Twelve Traditions(the 12 & 12) for guidance specific to Step 8. Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery. Making amends fosters clarity, self-forgiveness, and relief from guilt, which is healing. It also offers others a chance to gain resolution or a deeper understanding of your recovery journey.

what does living amends mean

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 16 Questions

  • In Step 9, participants acknowledge the negative impact their addiction had on others and commit to direct amends where possible.
  • It is different from an apology, which is “a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure”.
  • Again, in recovery, your words may not mean as much to some people as you wish they would.

A qualified behavioral therapist can help you identify the areas of your life that need attention. When choosing to make amends, exercise careful consideration of yourself and others to ensure you avoid causing further harm in your recovery efforts. Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends. Addiction takes over your life, stealing both your joy and your time, and making it impossible for you to give back to others and live a generous life. Instead, as you pursue a life in recovery, focus on being generous with your time and giving back to others.

How Will Making Amends Help My Recovery?

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